I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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