whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
