he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
