She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
