I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
