all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
