Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
