In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i out mim tonsoeep
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
