Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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