so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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