If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
