Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
