I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
