Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
