Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
