let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
