Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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