My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
