Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
