She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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