You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
