Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
