if you like me you must not know who I am
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize