i don't like sucking hair
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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