I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize