i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
