U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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