I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
