I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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