Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
