saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
