Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
