is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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