when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
