Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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