Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
