Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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