i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize