He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
there is glitter all over my balls
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize