Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
