The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
