If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
