she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
