it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
