I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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