Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
