im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
