Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
