I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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