The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Someone shit on the floor
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize