Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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