it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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