i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
